Having taken out a reduced price subscription to the Times my wife pointed out the other day that the weather map for the UK shows Birmingham a lot farther south than she expected. I got out our road map and sure enough Birmingham was about fifty miles south east of where it should be and Oxford for some reason was a little further north.
Great chance to get a letter printed in the Times so yesterday I drafted and emailed the following:
BRUMMIES GO SOUTH FOR WINTER
Sir, I am not sure whether it is due to climate change or a response to the recession, but on your recent weather maps, Birmingham appears to be moving south-east towards Oxford, which is in turn moving north to meet it. The Cotswolds must surely be feeling the squeeze.
Instant result though perhaps it may not be published – my email reply that I received this morning with a much funnier title:
PLATE TECTONICS IN THE MIDLANDSDear Mr Donaldson,Many thanks for taking the trouble to point out the defective geography on our weather map. I have reproached the person responsible and have been assured that Birmingham’s southward rampage has been arrested.best wishes,