Nine years ago I published my father of the groom speech on here so it is only fair that I now publish my father of the bride speech so I am not accused of favouritism.
This is how I broke it down on the day. There was several extra things included but it gives a flavour of the day and may be useful to someone in the future.
HELLO WEMBLEY – No ELY – HELLO ELY
Ladies, Gentlemen, children ….
My name is Ron and I am Samantha’s dad, the father of the bride.
Don’t worry, I will make this speech like I like my ladies: Short and Sweet,
This is my lovely short and sweet wife, Voni, we’ve had 30 years happy marriage, mind you we’ve been married for 37.
I would like to start by welcoming you all, and to thank you for coming here to the Old Hall in Ely, an island of eels in the Fens. The Fens used to be marshlands so do not stray too far from the house.
We have guests that have traveled in from far and wide like Peterborough, Bristol and family from Sunderland and Newcastle so watch out for trouble.
If you bump into any of them, usually at the bar because that’s their favourite habitat, please do engage them in chat. They love chatting. If you cant understand what they are saying try the Google Translate app.
Before I do the speech bit though, I wanted us to reflect and remember those friends and family who are not here with us today,
So, can I ask you all to raise a glass to “Absent friends” – TOAST:
I am the proudest father in the world today. Seeing my daughter all grown up looking so beautiful happy and radiant is such an amazing sight. #PROUDDAD for those reading this on TWITTER.
I have been under strict instructions not to embarrass Samantha – I shall save that for the dance floor later with some epic Dad dance moves.
If you didn’t know, Samantha was born in Southend-on-Sea and is technically an Essex girl.
I had the very first hold and cuddle when she was born and she was beautiful then but even more beautiful now.
Since then she has certainly kept us on our toes. She is the life and soul of every party. If any have you have never been in a quiz or game of trivial pursuits with Samantha you have never lived.
Samantha showed a compassionate and caring side from a very early age.
She has always loved pets, rabbits, cats, guinea pigs and one of her first jobs was with Pets at Home in Peterborough.
She found out that any hamsters returned to the shop as being badly behaved, or those that were unwanted, funny looking were eventually taken away in a van. So she started rescuing them by bringing them home. We had cages of funny looking, one-eared, lopsided creatures. Rescuer was her middle name.
Several years later she brought Greg home.
Steve and Andy, your son Greg is an absolute credit to you both.
Voni and I must give a big thank you to the bridesmaids Emily, Lucy, Phoebe, Josie and Jaja.
Coobie and Scott the best men had the hardest job of all, but succeeded, they got Greg here on time. Not a sentence you often hear.
Lets not leave out Theo – our little prince charming.
At her Hen Party Samantha and the hens played a game of Mr & Mrs where Greg had been asked a series of questions in advance.
The question asked was “Greg – What is the greatest gift Samantha has ever given you”
Samantha said. This is easy. It has to be Theo. They looked at Gregs answer – “My Virgin telly tablet”.
Greg is amazing, he can eat a whole 48 piece box of fererro Roche in one sitting. He has already eaten their Easter Chocolates, yesterday.
I almost forgot, Samantha studied for five hard years to become a leading glass maker. At her final show, Sir James Dyson was so taken by her exhibit that he bought it for his lounge.
So whereas you all have Dysons at home, Sir James Dyson has a Samantha Donaldson in his home.
It was at that show that everyone thought I was a VIP guest. Can you guess who?
[Someone immediately shouted GEORGE LUCAS of Star Wars. Which was correct but was supposed to be preceded by a string of humerous and silly suggestions by my little brother and family.]
I am available for Selfies later at the bar.
So, Samantha – (looks at her) it was my honour and privilege to escort you down the aisle today.
Finally, it is traditional to share a piece of wisdom on what makes for a successful, long and happy marriage. In my case, it’s been very easy. I’ve just done exactly what I’ve been told for the last 37 years and that works for us.
A successful marriage is not just about finding someone you want to live with, but finding someone you cannot live without.
I know you make a great team and are wonderful parents to Theo.
Thank you so much everyone for being here. Enjoy your meal and the rest of your day.
Please raise your glasses in a toast to the Bride and Groom.